


Diamond Dust

by chocobobutt



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M, Strifehart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9058210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocobobutt/pseuds/chocobobutt
Summary: My secret santa present for @ownedby5catsEnjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

Cloud was dead. It had been quick and painless but he was dead and not coming back. He'd only been 20, still so young and still with so much to live for when he had a brain aneurysm and died in his sleep. His Mother had been the one to find him and his friends all came to mourn him, though there were not many.

It was a strange thing to see your own funeral, to watch people cry and not even feel remorse. He knew he should feel sad, that he should be upset at how short his life had been or that he should want to speak to his Mother but he wasn't. When you were dead you didn't really need emotions at all. 

Cloud learned lots of things as a ghost, things he thought were lies or just fairytales. For instance, Cloud learned that as a ghost he didn’t have to be tied down to one area or one person. He could easily roam around wherever he so wanted. He didn't get hungry but he could touch people which was a plus. Sometimes he'd see animals following him or watching him but never any human. While ghosts existed it seemed that maybe psychics did not. 

For a couple of centuries, Cloud watched people grow and change. He never stayed with a human too long, or in a place long either. By the new century he had grown bored of everything. It was then when he was given a choice, finally able to crossover. At the gates he had two choices, continue into the afterlife or a job. The job was to become a sprite, another thing Cloud had thought were make believe. He had options as to what kind of sprite he could be, finding it odd how this second option was so well organized and specific. He never questioned it. He decided on being a winter sprite, a season he had always liked. He'd get to always be in the cold and so he decided on that. 

Cloud was given to Shiva to study under her, to become one of her followers with the intention of one day taking the title of Shiva. He hadn't cared much for it at first, but once he had been given his new frozen body, along with it came emotions. He had found the change to be rather stark, his emotions could never be multiple at once but rather entirely one or another. IF he was mad then he'd only be mad or if he was sad it would be the same. It was strange to feel anything again but at least he wasn't bored anymore.

Shiva was kind when she wanted to be or cruel if she didn't. Luckily for Cloud he hardly saw her cruelness. He had learned many things, mostly the magic he'd one day have to share with humans. He learned how to take energy from them in terms of memory. That was the one thing he hated. He had learned it on monsters and the taste had never been good, the memories were sporadic and strange, as if he was hallucinating. He could only imagine what the monster was like in it's head normally and what madness occurred there. His first human had been an old man. His first taste of human and happy memories. The good memories tasted the sweetest while times of strife were sour and the saddest were bitter. The more he consumed of the memories the more he could put each piece together of the host, like making a puzzle of who the person was. By the time each puzzle was complete, the host would be gone and still Cloud had never felt much sadness for them. It was something the humans were prepared for he had been told, they knew what consequences a summoning would lead to. 

His feelings towards humans changed when a fateful meeting had occurred, one who would change his whole existence. The man who had summoned him was not even a man yet but still a teenager. He was tall, taller then him. The man’s eyes had been what had attracted him the most at first glance. When he had first been summoned he had expected to see a fool who just wanted power, this one was different. This one had asked to borrow his power to help others. Cloud liked him from the start.

“Squall you say? A storm, what an interesting name.” The astral being floated around the other, ice trailing behind his nearly naked blue form. His spiky locks were a pale blue, icy at most but with a hint of yellow to them. It made it look like his hair was a shimmery platinum. His eyes were a bright blue and green mix that faintly glowed. His body was compact and the only clothing he had on were a pair of blue pants that though loose around his legs were tight at his ankles and waist. He floated until he was hovering in the air in front of Squall and tapped his nose, causing the human’s nose to frost a little.

“And you’re Shiva? I thought Shiva was a woman.” Squall sniffed and rubbed at his nose till the icy feeling went away. His eyes trailed over the other, wondering how exactly this creature had come to be and how he wasn’t cold himself. He looked human despite his blue toned skin, though he did think the iridescence of it was rather breathtaking. 

“I’m an underling, though I’ve been promoted to Shiva-C. I’m just as good as her so don’t worry, pretty thing.” Cloud grinned and moved away from him, blowing a kiss of snow at Squall. 

“Fine Shiva-C. As long as you can be used then I don’t really care.” Squall had huffed and started to walk off, assuming the GF would follow him and eventually disappear until needing to be summoned once more.

That was how their first encounter had been. Cloud had found the disinterested feelings of Squall refreshing, enjoying that they got along in silence during the times there was no fighting and he would hover near Squall. The brunet had a natural affinity to ice. He’d noticed how no matter the temperature around him, Squall always seemed to be naturally cold. He’d noticed it since the day they had met when he had touched his nose. Cold never affected Squall like it did others, sure he had the heavy jacket on that he wore at all times but he’d never shiver or complain about the temperature. It was easy to get close to him because of it, he was the first human not to shy away from his frost. That was something new, something he’d never experienced with another human before. There were times too that Cloud had noted that Squall often found himself staring at the remains of his Diamond Dust. He’d seen the way those icy blue eyes sparkled with the reflection of his own ice. Squall was an excellent summoner too and found himself often being used.

Each summoning he learned more and more of the enigmatic man. From the memories he had stolen, he knew Squall had a Sister but his Father was missing and the Mother was dead. He had seen Seifer and Squall playing as kids and looking rather happy with each other. There had been one of a woman raising him and teaching Squall how to make crowns of flowers. Had Cloud not taken that memory he might had asked for one. 

The two had grown a bond over such a short time. They had fought many battles, resulting in Squall usually leveling up and finding a new skill to learn. Cloud helped teach him each new one, from simple heals to more advanced magic like his own blizzaga. Each time Squall would draw more ice type magic, Cloud would be beside him and taking some with him. They’d share it and if Squall was in a good mood he’d even conjure a snowball or two to throw at the unsuspecting Cloud. Trying to be cool, Squall had even started to pose for Cloud after battles. He’d slashing at the air twice before turning and resting the blade on his shoulder, a grin on those thin lips. It made Cloud laugh, knowing how hard Squall was trying to be cool but just coming off as cute instead. There had been moments of concern too. Anytime Cloud would be summoned and get attacked before he could perform his own, Squall would move closer to him as if trying to reach out to him. Cloud had caught that look of worry so many times on Squall’s face when he hadn’t thought he’d notice. It was nice to have someone caring about him for a change. Squall was so unique from the other hosts he had. This man actually saw Cloud as an individual, not as an object used for power. Cloud had never felt happiness quite like this. It was a new feeling for him, even when he was a human he never found something or someone who had given him much joy. Squall quickly became his happiness. 

However, the happiness wouldn’t last...

The more memories he began taking, the more closed off Squall was becoming and Cloud started to hate it. The change had started slow, almost unnoticed. Squall had often been quiet but now there was hardly any contact and it didn’t make sense to Cloud. He had not taken any memories of himself away but they felt like strangers. Where Squall had once given him a smile or two, now all he got was frowns and glares. The more of Squall’s past he was taking away, the more of what made Squall himself was taken too. It was something Cloud had never really thought of before but he was learning to fear it. He was beginning to understand that if Squall kept this up Cloud would lose the man he had grown so attached to and be left with a shell of a person. The thought was scared him more than death ever had when he was a human.

“Are you sure you are alright?” Cloud had finally asked one day. He knew that Squall wasn’t but he wanted to hear it coming from the man in question himself. 

“Why do you care?” Came the cold response from Squall.

Had Cloud not been made of ice, that would have frozen him in place. Squall had never been so cold to him before. He almost didn’t even know what to say to that. “You’re my host and I...I don’t need a reason.” Squall was already changing and there was nothing Cloud could do to stop it. Even still, hearing the emotionless tone in Squall’s voice and the way he looked at him with those dull eyes, it shattered his ice heart into pieces. Had they not been friends for awhile now? Was Squall one who didn’t know of the connection of memories the two had? 

“I’m fine. I’m just getting tired.” With that, Squall had went to run off and find something to distract himself and kill. He found he often ran from him now and Cloud was saddened by that fact. 

“You should rest then. I will keep watch without harming you.” Cloud said though he meant something else. He was going to use his powers for protection without using anything from Squall. He’d use up the stored energy of being alive for so long if he needed it. Despite all the hosts he had, there wasn’t much stored away. 

Squall however, took the suggestion to heart and found a place to rest his head against. It was a tree but one that had a curved trunk that looked like it was meant to cradle something. He took that spot as his own and looked around once before nodding to Shiva and taking a nap.

Cloud had watched the other fall asleep, noting that his breath was even now. As he stayed and guarded Squall, his body became more translucent. Without Squall’s memories being sucked up he didn’t have much power but still he waited and stayed with him. Eventually Cloud laid by Squall’s side, his hands ghosting over the scar he often would stare at. He hadn’t yet taken that memory and still it was a mystery to him. It was one of the memories he’d wished to know but didn’t want to steal from him. He wanted Squall to open up to him and tell him things like he used to. Cloud wished he could just survive on conversations because taking memories was just taking Squall away. It would be easier on him now that he had found someone he enjoyed. 

The two didn’t stir for quite some time and when Squall finally woke up he felt a bit better and looked at the sleeping astral next to him. Squall had sighed and shook his head, Cloud was supposed to be watching him and yet he was sleeping by his side. As he got up, Cloud shifted and Squall’s attention went down to Cloud. He had looked so peaceful in sleep and so very human for once. Squall was almost mystified by it and he couldn’t help but reach out to touch him. Even if the body was nearly clear, his hand didn’t go through him. Cloud was so very cold to the touch and yet in that cold was a sort of heat. He soon found he couldn’t take himself away from it. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the icy forehead, whispering to him before standing back up once more. 

The astral had stirred a few minutes later and woke up and the two continued on their journey. It would be a long hard path for the both of them. Squall kept trudging on and though the terrain was getting worse, he kept going with minor complaint. When they’d have to pass over long spans of water, Squall would summon Cloud to carry him around. Cloud had hated taking memories for that and had offered that they find a boat or a train, someway else but Squall wouldn’t have it. He had said it was easier to use Cloud and so more memories were taken. He had seen Squall’s first kiss, a kiss shared with a woman who Cloud had seen vaguely. They were going to get her back now actually. If he recalled her name was Rinoa and she had been taken by a sorceress. Cloud didn’t care much for those Sorceress’ as they didn’t really affect him or others like him. It was bad for humans, not deities who could leave if the world was ending. Time was meaningless to Cloud anyway, it was only starting to matter now that he had a human attached to him who was slowly fading each time he appeared. His heart grew heavy, and for a time Cloud grew selfish- he took more memories than he needed in order to get that snarky, confident, and brave Squall back- building him again out of his memories ... but it wasn't the same, and by the time he realised it it was too late.

They had eventually reunited with Squall’s friends and though they weren’t completely erased from him yet, Squall was still cold. At one point he had been opening up to them, having a sense of camaraderie with them. Those friends noticed the change in Squall too. They had stopped using their own GF’s so much and could even remember the times they had know each other in the past, far in the past. Squall had been the only one who couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember the orphanage or the Matron. He couldn’t remember that Ellone had meant so much more to him then what he thought of her now. Cloud had stolen those thoughts from him and as the astral watched the group grow distant, he couldn’t help the heavy feeling of guilt within him. Squall’s friends had told him to stop using his GF, that he was strong enough without him but he had become angry then. Cloud hated that he was happy about Squall depending on him, he hated that he had liked the hold he had on the young man. He hated it because of how bad he was for Squall. Cloud was a leach, he was a maggot eating Squall away from the inside. Looking back, Cloud hardly recognised him. He understood why Squall's friends hated him so much. He was the one destroying him, he didn’t deserve it. He had made a false sense of security in himself for Squall and now the poor man depended on him too much. Cloud could hardly take anymore of it but still their quest continued.

There had never been a mortal or ethereal being that Cloud had been afraid of, that was until he came face to face with Ultimecia. The woman, demon, he didn’t know what hellish name to call her but she was trouble. He could feel the evil that surrounded her, it shook him to his very core. He hadn’t wanted Squall to fight her, surely there was another way to save the girl. Maybe if Cloud took memories of her, all the memories that Squall had he would just leave. It was a thought that made Cloud sick at himself. He had become so attached he was willing to take everyone else out of Squall’s life. Perhaps he was more of a monster then Ultimecia had become.

No shell or invincibility was able to withstand the attacks. Squall’s party was losing, some were even getting sent in the time paradox. Cloud hesitated to think what that would even be like. Even if innocents were being hurt, Cloud was more worried over Squall. The man had summoned him once already and even if Cloud’s magic had taken a toll on Ultimecia, Squall was the one paying the bigger price. Cloud was having to take bigger chunks of memories out to cast stronger spells. Gone was Squall’s time in Garden, gone was the time with his comrades, gone was Rinoa. Squall was left with nothing save his will to fight and memories of Cloud. He couldn’t take those away or Squall wouldn’t even know how to summon him. 

Again as Squall fought, Cloud felt that pull, the need to be summoned. “No, no more! No more Squall! Please!” Cloud cried out upon deaf ears. One more summon and it would be the end of Squall, he wouldn’t even remember his own name. The pull became stronger and Cloud screamed out against it, the chains of their contract drawing him forth against his will.

“Please...just one more. We can do it together.” Squall’s voice was dry, as if he hadn’t used it in days and Cloud couldn’t even remember the last time he had. Despite its hoarse sound, it was calm. It was as if Squall had already accepted his fate, he knew what would happen.

Cloud came forth against his will, guarding the human he had grown to love. He looked behind him once, a torrent of icy wind starting to form around him and his Squall. Those icy blue eyes sparkled once more for him, a smile gracing his pale lips. Those lips parted mouthing out his last words of thanks before he collapsed, his body growing pale from the cold. 

Cloud stood there in shock.

That smile.

Those eyes.

All the things he had loved, missed and held so dearly were in his grasp and gone in a flash. 

Squall was gone.

Memories of their times together came in reverse. He saw it all again, he could hear every thought Squall had once had over him. He had finally learned how dear he was to Squall. Each memory brought a wave of tears, a hailstorm forming around him. Cloud heard all the times he’d annoyed Squall, how he’d been called an idiot over and over again. He heard all the sighs of frustration and felt all the shakes of his head. There were times too, times when Cloud hadn’t even noticed that Squall had craved to be close to him. There were times when he had reached out a hand, wanting to touch but never feeling it was right. There were times Squall had looked at him so fondly and others when he could get nothing but the thought of Cloud’s lips off his mind. All of these drove a crack further and further along Cloud’s heart. It was that day in the forest that had broken him most. The day Squall had felt courageous enough to kiss his forehead.

There had been a whisper there Cloud had never heard, a plea from Squall. “I wish you could always be by my side. I don’t want to forget you.” 

The storm was unleashed. In his agony, loathing, sadness and rage his powers spun out of control. Cloud mourned the loss of his dearest, freezing anything his ice grew near. Ultimecia was frozen in his Diamond Dust and a punch from the astral shattered her into pieces. It was ironic how Cloud thought the remains looked so much like how he felt, broken.

He’d never known love or loss before. He’d never known the gentle touch of a lover. His time for all that had passed centuries ago. An astral was not meant to fall for a human and yet it took him becoming a deity to finally feel. 

Cloud collapsed next to Squall, kneeling before him as tears never ended. He was creating a field of ice, covering himself and his beloved. Tenderly he pulled Squall close to him, holding him for the first time in his arms. That body was colder than his own, a feeling he’d never wanted to ever feel again; but he did not let go. Those icy eyes seemed white now, no longer beautiful and full of life. Squall was gone and all Cloud had left of him was the memories he had stolen.

A short life.

A life unfulfilled.

Squall’s entire existence, and he’d taken it all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crying over that ending? Enjoy an alternate happy ending that takes place right after!

Cloud had resolved to stay here forever. To be with the lifeless body of the love he’d never get to have. He would freeze Squall as he was, keep him forever young, at least that he could do for all he had taken. They’d eventually become nothing more of a gravestone, a memory for the young warrior and the astral who killed him. 

“It’s creepy to see your body, isn’t it?” 

That voice, Cloud looked down at the body in his arms but knew those lips hadn’t moved. Had he already gone mad with grief? Was the process so strong?

“Are you ignoring me now? I knew you were an idiot but I didn’t think you were rude too.”

Bright blue eyes looked up, scanning the barren and frozen land before them. There was no one, nothing but the broken pieces of his heart and the body in his arms. He really was losing it to think he was hearing Squall’s voice once more. 

“Stop. Don’t play tricks on me.” Cloud pleaded, thinking the voice was coming from his own head now. 

“Who said I was?”

The body in his arms vanished after that, turning into dust and being swept away by the wind.

“No…..no please...let me have something...let me hold him again please!” Cloud quickly stood, running after the dust until he could no longer see it. He had been a fool for thinking he could have any part of Squall.

“Why are you crying?”

“I said leave me alone!” Cloud yelled, turning to where he thought the voice was coming from. He hadn’t stopped crying and thought he never would. At least, that was what he had thought until he saw who was behind him…

Icy blue eyes stared back at them but they were brighter now somehow. Long chocolate brown hair that had once been short now fell past shoulders, looking like a mane. Bright red and brown horns jutted out of the hair, looking almost like a crown above him. Thin lips were in a grin, pointed canines peeking out between the lips. There were big dark wings spread out behind him with the most beautiful snowy white feathers. Yet despite all the changes, it was impossible not to recognize him. 

“S-Squall...how?” Cloud stood in disbelief. The tears only stopping for a moment with his confusion being the most prominent emotion.

“Griever.” Squall averted his eyes, reaching up for the empty spot where his necklace once lay against his chest. “He offered to junction with me, said I was being a fool for dying. I think he really just felt bad for me.” Those eyes that Cloud loved look back up as Squall walked forward, coming within a few inches of the other.

“This...I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” Cloud asked, tilting his head to look up at Squall. He seemed taller than he had before. 

“No you’re not. I can prove it to you but I have to do something first. I want my memories back.” 

Before Cloud could respond, thin lips were pressed against them, warm lips. He’d never been kissed before but had always imagined this was what it would feel like. For the first time he felt like he was melting, his whole being focused on the feeling of those lips. It was a feeling he never wanted to end. 

Squall was the one to pull away and when he did there was a twinkle in his eyes, he’d held Cloud’s chin in his hand, not wanting to let go. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

Cloud laughed, wiping a stray tear from his eye. He smiled as he too reached up to hold Squall’s face in his hands, feeling the warmth radiating off him. “No, I really think I do.”


End file.
